that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
