How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It was confusing and full of hummus
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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