at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
