I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
