officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
ttyl tear gas
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
