tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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