so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
