I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
