He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
