the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
