I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
