i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
