the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
