I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
