brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
