After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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