Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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