I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
