I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
