Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
