She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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