Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
