So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
