i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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