so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
