your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
