pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
