I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
