Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
