I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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