Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
