My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Semen is not good for contacts.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
