Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
