Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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