So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
