the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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