Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
