It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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