An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
third nipple confirmed
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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