hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
