Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
We smell like vodka and hangover
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