Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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