i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
