And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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