New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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