Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
