oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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