Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
