Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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