I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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