He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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