Your face is a jimmy john
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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