he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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