It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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